The Art of Solitude

Solitude addresses our need for people. Through the practice of solitude, we withdraw from people for a certain amount of time, so that we learn how to make space for God. Ruth Haley Barton, who authored Sacred Rhythms, explains Solitude as creating space for God and a place for our soul to come out. This is that safe place, deep inside, where our spirits and God dwell together. Our very longing for solitude is a longing for God. Solitude is the surrendering of our wills and emotions and where we truly experience and encounter God.

However, as Blaise Pascal (A Christian & French philosopher from the 1600’s) said “I have discovered that all the unhappiness of [humans] arises from one single fact, that they cannot stay quietly in their own chamber” - the reality is that most of us struggle with solitude. This is a place that we cannot control, fix or fill it ourselves. In this place, there is nothing between me and God, no meditation by others, no words, no activity and any attempt to manipulate God is futile.

In this place of true honesty, we learn to embrace our deepest thoughts and emotions. A part of this, is to recognise that we don’t like being alone with our own thoughts. However, as we learn to embrace what scares us, God can lead us out to get in touch with our true self.

We live in a restless, unrelenting age, where there is constant pressure to stay ‘connected’ via social media platforms. Most of us, live our lives through the digital screen. We find ourselves checking and rechecking our cell phones, mindlessly scrolling through social media pages, as if our survival depends on it. If it isn’t our phones, then it is flipping through endless TV channels.

It is ironic that a decade or so ago, there was hope that, through technology, we would have more time. In fact, the opposite has happened, as technology has made it more difficult to put up healthy boundaries around our work / home life. Now, more is expected from us than ever before and we have the tendency to cram more into our day. Technology may promise more connection with people, anytime we want, but in reality it has compromised our ability to be present with ourselves, with people and with God.

For some, their souls are weary to the point of exhaustion and may need to engage in solitude, first as a place of rest, before anything else. Maybe you are tired because you are trying so hard to figure stuff out. Rather, learn to still your striving and be with God, waiting on Him to make stuff happen. Jesus was aware of this, when He taught His disciples the importance of unplugging from the demands of life for the purpose of resting in God.

Mark 6 v 31 - 32 (TPT) “There was such a swirl of activity around Jesus, with so many people coming and going, that they were unable to even eat a meal. So Jesus said to his disciples, ”Come, let’s take a break and find a secluded place where you can rest a while.” They slipped away and left by sailboat for a deserted spot.”

Jesus was reported often slipping away to “lonely/secluded” places to be with Father God. We can all agree, that most people have a calendar full of activities, work demands and family commitments. So, if we don’t set aside time in our calendar to practice solitude and silence, it won’t happen.

The Practice of Solitude 

Your goal for this week is to find a time and place that works for you within your current lifestyle, to create a new daily rhythm with God using the practice of Solitude.

Firstly… 

• Be Patient - Give yourself permission to enjoy the journey and to ‘fail’ along the way. All you have to do is show up!

• Don’t Allow Discouragement to set in - Either by how long it can take or saying that you are ‘bad’ at this or ‘this isn’t for you’. 

• Don’t Judge Yourself - This isn’t a ‘succeed or fail’ project. There is no right or wrong, so no feeling guilty. This is simply learning to be with God. 

• Set a Modest Goal -  Start off small and work your way up - e.g. 5 minutes every day or 10 min, 5 days a week. Find whatever works for you and don’t be afraid to experiment.

The Practice

• Choose a Time: Could be first thing in the morning, or when the kids are taking a nap or even during your lunch break. Some prefer evenings, before going to bed. The idea is to find what suits you. If you can learn to do this for 1 - 2 minutes at a time, then count it as a win! 

• Pick a Place: This spot should be quiet and distraction free as possible, find a comfortable chair, weather permitting it could be outside in a park or in your car during your lunch break.

• Begin by: Put away your phone or other distractions and get comfortable. You can even do this during exercise like walking or folding laundry.

• Start with Breathe Prayer - Close your eyes (not if you are exercising), take long slow breaths (Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for 4, and exhale for 4). Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Pay attention to your breathing. Release any ongoing ‘chatter’ in your mind. ‘Escort’ each thought out as quickly as it comes in and refocus back on your breathing. Note that your mind will go crazy with random thoughts at first. If your mind starts to wander off, simply recentre yourself. Use a single phrase like “Father” or “Jesus” mentally while breathing to help you focus. Do this until your mind, will, emotions and body become still and centred.

• Abiding - Now you are going to change from breathing prayer to abiding in God’s presence. Ask God where He is? Picture Him sitting next to you, or walking with you. Welcome His love, joy and peace from Holy Spirit. The goal here is just to “be with Father / Jesus / Holy Spirit". Focus on one or all three and stay in this place for as long as you are able. 

• Finish with a prayer of gratitude:  Commit the rest of your day to God.