The Invitation…
Rule of Life - Developing a spiritual plan for your life…
A fifth-century monk, St. Benedict of Nursia, worried that the temptations of life would seduce monks from their pursuit of God. He set out to create an order of discipline that would prevent monks from straying from their higher callings. This became known as “The Rule of Benedict.” Today, it is known simply as the Rule of Life. God extends His invitation, and developing a Rule is your response to His invitation.
The Greek word used for “rule” is closely connected to the word ‘trellis’. A trellis is a support structure that holds a plant and helps it grow and bear fruit.
Designed to support your Spiritual Growth
A Rule of Life is like a trellis that supports our growth in all areas of life. It helps us establish regular habits and routines for our spiritual and emotional development. It gives us time to think, reflect, rest, journal, and meditate, keeping us focused on Jesus, our “True North.”
It is a consistent pattern of attitudes and behaviors aimed at improving your life and character. These guidelines help you adopt new habits while letting go of old ones, shaping you into who you are in Christ. They encourage you to say "yes" to what brings you closer to Jesus and "no" to what pulls you away.
It fosters a clear focus on God. This practice of following Jesus in your community helps keep your journey organized. It helps you organize your days around four key aspects: Being, Becoming, Doing, and Rest/Play, all filled with joy, and redirects your attention to God. A Rule of Life helps you answer important life questions and encourages you to continually say "Yes" on your lifelong journey.
“Who do you want to be?” and “How do you want to live?”
Before Embarking…
Setting a solid foundation for spiritual practices is important. Dallas Willard stresses the need to clarify our thoughts before beginning a spiritual journey. We should avoid doing things without understanding their purpose. Imitating others or participating just to please someone is not recommended. It's crucial to grasp the meaning of spiritual disciplines rather than just following routines without understanding.
As apprentices of Jesus, we are to think through what we are doing, why we are doing it and how we are to do it.
Important to remember
Be patient: Developing a new routine of spiritual practices takes time. Allow yourself to explore different options, and be prepared to arrange them to fit your life. It's best to focus on one practice at a time and practice it for a while before adding more.
Start Small: It's easy to aim too high at first. Begin with what you can do, not what you think you should be able to do. If your goal is too big, you may feel discouraged. Set goals that are achievable and enjoyable.
Personal Journey: Avoid comparisons with others. This is your journey. Everyone is unique, so consider your personality, current situation, personal struggles, and how you are growing. Many things influence what works for you, such as whether you prefer spontaneity or structure. Use these factors to figure out how much detail you might need.
Be Realistic: Your life rules need to be practical. A young mom with small kids has a different lifestyle than a retired person. Don’t feel pressured to be more spiritual. Change can happen at any stage of life if you accept the challenges and chances it brings. Being honest helps you set realistic expectations for adjusting your life.
Be Balanced: It's important to have a balanced approach in your spiritual practices. Enjoy the easy and fun practices, but also pay attention to the more challenging ones, as they help your soul grow. Keep your practices flexible and open to the Holy Spirit's guidance throughout your day.
Think about your personality: Extroverts might find silence hard, while introverts can feel overwhelmed in social settings. Both types need to challenge themselves in these areas. The same applies to spontaneous people; without some structure, they may lose focus and discipline. Structured individuals should be careful not to become too rigid or overly reliant on their routines.
Be Flexible: Everyone needs some flexibility. This doesn't mean you lack purpose. Be clear about what suits you and when to act. You can pursue a path while knowing that things might not go as planned. The goal is to do your best, given the realities of life.
Have a Plan: Without a personal plan (Rule of Life), your spiritual growth will not occur. You need a simple framework to create a new routine and rhythm.
Reflect: Every so often, stop and reflect, usually every six months. Ask yourself how things are going. Do you need to make changes? Are you experiencing a big life event, like marriage, children, a new job, moving, surgery, or retirement? If so, adjust your plan as needed.
Not Organisational tool: It is not just a way to organize your day for better efficiency; it is a method to shape your life to be more like Jesus. Keep in mind that your Rule of Life is a flexible document that will change over time.
A Means for Transformation: Spiritual practices help us grow, but remember that God is always working within you. He can connect with you in everyday life, not just through these practices.
““You might think that your woundedness or your sinfulness is the truest thing about you or that your giftedness or your personality type or your job title or your identity as husband or wife, mother or father, somehow defines you. But in reality, it is your desire for God and your capacity to reach for more of God than you have right now that is the deepest essence of who you are.””
Self Awareness
We must die to these aspects of our old self, in order to be conformed and transformed into the image of Jesus - Our true self.
Learning to be honest with yourself and inviting God into that space, is one of the keys for your spiritual growth, as it helps with “our long obedience in the same direction”.
The pathway of self-awareness is moving from lacking in self-awareness to becoming more self aware within the safety of God’s presence.
“God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares. See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways — the path that brings me back to you.” - Psalms 139 v 23 (TPT)
This can be one of the hardest parts of the spiritual journey. We often avoid being fully known by others, yet we strongly desire to be accepted and loved unconditionally. Many of us want to experience this love without the risk of revealing ourselves completely. It can be painful to see our own flaws and hard to admit that true change feels out of reach. We move between wanting to hide and wanting to be transformed by love. The Bible refers to this as ‘dying to self’.
““Many avoid the path of self-knowledge because they are afraid of being swallowed up in their own abysses. But Christians have confidence that Christ has lived through all the abysses of human life and that he goes with us when we dare to engage in sincere confrontation with ourselves. Because God loves us unconditionally—along with our dark sides—we don’t need to dodge ourselves. In the light of this love the pain of self-knowledge can be at the same time the beginning of our healing.””
Let’s get going…
Take your time answering these questions. Set aside some time each day for this task. You can give yourself a week to complete them, but don't stress if you need more time. Keep working until you finish.
What do you truly want? Begin with your desires. We often learn to ignore or fear our true feelings, thinking they are too intense. It's easier to keep our longings hidden than to face them. Ask yourself: How much do I want real change? How much am I willing to adjust my life for what I truly desire? Do I even understand what my heart wants?
What do you want Jesus to do for you? Jesus often asked challenging questions to help people connect with their true desires. Questions like “What do you want?” encourage us to explore our deepest feelings and move towards spiritual understanding. These questions reveal our vulnerabilities and needs, cutting through any facade. While we might seek physical healing, it's important to acknowledge and address our deeper longings. Recognizing these desires is a key step in a spiritual journey, showing that the Holy Spirit is already active within us.
What is the biblical basis for spiritual practices? You may not need proof for every spiritual practice, but it's important to see examples from God's people in the Old Testament or from Jesus and the Early Church. Many common spiritual practices are found in the Bible, while some newer ones need careful evaluation. It's best to discuss these with your local spiritual leaders to ensure accountability.
Identify your true motivation for spiritual practices. It's essential to focus on God alone, not on performance or manipulation. If your motivation stems from guilt, a need to prove yourself, or a desire to please others, your practices may become counterproductive. Seeking acceptance or belonging can lead to "dead works" that hinder your growth. Trying to do this for yourself can also lead to frustration, as you cannot fix yourself alone. When you remove all external labels, you realize that you love God because He loved you first. You yearn for Him because He reached out to you, and you understand that everything comes from God.
Recognize the mystery of change and that you can't control it. Which parts of your life need to change now? Admit to God that you can't do it alone. Talk to God about your wish to be more consistent so He can help you.
What does each practice aim to achieve? Know what each one promises to bring out in you. Each practice is designed to help you receive a specific part of the Kingdom or to reshape areas of your soul where the Kingdom is not yet present. Practicing spirituality without purpose is not effective.
How does it connect to your body? Each practice connects to your physical body. Your spirituality is not separate from your body; it is your entire being (body, spirit, mind, emotions, desires, will, needs, and relationships). Spiritual practices involve your body. We need to learn from the Hebraic mindset to balance opposing tensions. The spiritual and physical realms affect each other.
How do Spiritual practices connect to the Kingdom of God and the local church? They serve both personal growth and the church's growth. While these practices often happen individually, they should not remain private. Personal transformation happens through individual effort, while corporate transformation requires accountability to the local church community and its leaders.
After answering these questions, you can start creating your Rule of Life (plan) for your spiritual growth.
Reflect on your observations.
Which spiritual practice should you start engaging with more consistently?
Write down your plan, considering your current limitations.
Identify which practices you can do daily, weekly, and monthly.
How can you adjust your schedule to make this practice a part of your routine?
Will you need to discuss any arrangements with your spouse or housemates?
Ensure your plan is realistic, balanced, and meaningful to you.
This will take ongoing commitment from you, not just out of a sense of duty but one of love and relationship. Remember, it’s a lifelong commitment to being more open to God’s work in your life.