The Invitation…
A fifth century monk, St. Benedict of Nursia, worried that the temptations of life will seduce monks from their pursuit of God. He set out to create an order of discipline that would prevent monks from straying from their higher callings. This became known as “The Rule of Benedict”. Today it is known simply as the Rule of Life. God extends His invitation and developing a Rule is your response to His invitation.
The Greek word used for “rule” is closely connected to the word ‘trellis’. A trellis is a support structure that holds a plant and helps it grow and bear fruit.
Much like a trellis, a Rule of Life provides the structure and support in every aspect of our lives and guides our growth. It helps us develop deliberate rhythms and routines in our daily lives for our spiritual and emotional formation. It creates the space we need to think, reflect, rest, journal and mediate so we stay pointed to our “True North”, Jesus.
Essentially, it is a rhythm of attitudes, behaviours and practices that are regular and routine. It is intended to produce a quality of life and character within your. These guidelines help you, over time to surrender to new life rhythms as well as turn away from old behaviours, patterns and practices, so that you can be shaped into who you are in Christ. It helps you to keep choosing to say “yes” to things that lead you to Jesus and “no” to things that lead you away from Jesus.
It creates a simple attentiveness to God. This is about your pursuit of Jesus within the community He has provided for you and that your pathway of following Jesus is a well ordered one. It assists in realigning your days around these four elements: Being, Becoming, Doing and Rest/Play with joy and bring your focus back to God. Essentially a Rule of Life” helps you answer key questions for life and enables you to keep saying “Yes” on this lifelong journey.
“Who do you want to be?” and “How do you want to live?”
before Embarking…
It is important to lay the right foundations for your spiritual practices. Dallas Willard says that before embarking on any spiritual journey, we first need to settle some key thoughts. Firstly, we should never engage in mindless activities with no understanding as to why we are doing these things. To imitate someone or do something out of obligation or religious duty, even to please someone, is never a good idea. You need an understanding of what spiritual disciplines are and not just blindly engage in activities you have little or no understanding of.
As apprentices of Jesus, we are to think through what we are doing, why we are doing it and how we are to do it.
Important to remember
Be Patient: It takes time to develop a new rhythm of spiritual practices. You need to give yourself space to explore the variety of the practices. It will take awhile to arrange them in a way that fits into your life. It is better to try one practice at a time and work on it for some time before adding on anymore.
Start Small: It is tempting to over-reach from day one. You need to start from where you are and not where you feel you should be. If your goal is unrealistic you will become discouraged and disillusioned. So make your goals doable and enjoyable.
Personal Endeavour: Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. This is a personal endeavour. No two people are the same and you need to take into account your personality, season of life, the issues of sin you are contending for and the places where God is stretching you. There are many factors that determine what will work for you, like whether if you are a spontaneous type of person or someone who needs more structure. Take these all into account to help you determine how much detail you may need.
Be Realistic: Your rule of life has to be realistic. A young mom with small children, will have a very different rhythm to that of an older person, who is in retirement. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you should be more spiritual. The truth is that transformation can take place in any season of life as long as you embrace the challenges and opportunities that come with each season. It requires you being honest to build a realistic expectations of how you can reorder your life.
Be Balanced: A balanced approach within your spiritual practices is important. You need to have a healthy balance of those practices that you find easy, fun and life-giving. But also you need to focus on those that may seem more difficult, as these move your soul towards growth. Don’t let it become rigid, dull and legalistic and allow Holy Spirit to interrupt your day.
Consider your Personality: Extroverts may find silence and solitude stretching, but for introverts being in community may be equally stretching. This doesn’t mean that either doesn’t need to be stretched in those areas. The same goes for a more spontaneous personality - if there not some type of structure, they run the risk of becoming unfocused and undisciplined. This also applies for those who are more structured as they need to watch that they don’t become rigid and over attached to their structure.
Be Flexible: For every personality, a degree of flexibility is needed. This never takes away our intentionality. It helps that you are clear about what is the best for you, in the right timing, then you can commit to that path but being aware that not everything will work out as planned. The point is to be faithful to the best of your ability and to the extent that life and circumstances allow.
Have a Plan: If you don’t have some kind of personalised plan (Rule of Life), your spiritual growth won’t happen. You will need a basic structure to help you develop a new routine and rhythm.
Every Now and Then… Stop and Evaluate: Another important aspect to remember is to stop along the way and take time to notice (normally ± 6 months). Ask yourself, how are things going? Do you need to make any adjustments? Are you going through a major life change, such as getting married, having children, a new job, moving, having surgery and retiring? If yes, then rearrange your plan accordingly.
It is not a means of organising your day so that you are more effective or efficient: Rather it is a way of ordering your life so that you become more like Jesus. Remember that your Rule of Life is a working document. It will be dynamic and not static!
Spiritual practices are just a means for our transformation. Keep reminding yourself that God is constantly at work within you and He is not limited to spiritual practices. He will find a way to have relationship and communion with you in the midst of life.
““You might think that your woundedness or your sinfulness is the truest thing about you or that your giftedness or your personality type or your job title or your identity as husband or wife, mother or father, somehow defines you. But in reality, it is your desire for God and your capacity to reach for more of God than you have right now that is the deepest essence of who you are.””
Self Awareness
Learning to be honest with yourself and inviting God into that space, is one of the keys for your spiritual growth, as it helps with “our long obedience in the same direction”. The pathway of self-awareness is moving from lacking in self-awareness to becoming more self aware within the safety of God’s presence.
“God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares. See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways — the path that brings me back to you.” - Psalms 139 v 23 (TPT)
This can be one of the most difficult parts of the spiritual journey. We tend to shy away from been fully known by others and yet our longing to be known, celebrated and loved unconditionally is equally strong! Most of us, prefer to have the experience of unconditional love, without the risk of being fully known. It is painful, to be made aware of our own shortcomings and we find it difficult to admit that lasting change is beyond our grasp. We vacillate between wanting to hide and longing to be changed by love. The Bible calls this ‘dying to self’.
We must die to these aspects of our old self, in order to be conformed and transformed into the image of Jesus - Our true self.
““Many avoid the path of self-knowledge because they are afraid of being swallowed up in their own abysses. But Christians have confidence that Christ has lived through all the abysses of human life and that he goes with us when we dare to engage in sincere confrontation with ourselves. Because God loves us unconditionally—along with our dark sides—we don’t need to dodge ourselves. In the light of this love the pain of self-knowledge can be at the same time the beginning of our healing.””
Let’s get going…
Start by working through the following questions - Don’t worry if these take some time to work through. Resist the urge to rush. Set aside and schedule time each day to work through these questions. You can give yourself a week to finish them all but don’t stress if you don’t complete them - just keep going until you finish.
What are you longing for? Your starting point is your desire/longing. We have been taught to silence our inner longings & desires, even be suspicious and afraid of them. It seems that our desires and longings are too volatile and powerful. We would rather live with a longing, that is asleep and hidden away, than awake and alive.
Questions to ask yourself; How much do I want true transformation? How much am I willing to rearrange my life for what my heart longs for? Do I even know what my heart is longing for?
What do you want Jesus to do for you? Jesus often provoked people with uncomfortable questions. He wanted them to get in touch with their desires, in order to own it. He asked questions like “What do you want?” or “What do you want me to do for you?”. These questions help open up the deepest part of our souls as well as leading us deeper into spiritual truth. Asking these questions helps us face our vulnerability, weakness, humanity and needs. They strip away any pretence, exposing what is truest within us. We may think that we need physical healing, but our core longing needs to be recognised (named) and met as much as any physical healing. Desire is the beginning of a spiritual journey, and indicates that Holy Spirit is already at work inside of you.
What is the biblical basis for spiritual practices? While you may not need proof for every single spiritual practice, you do need to see that spiritual practice as an illustration either from God’s people in the Old Testament or from Jesus and the Early Church. Some of the classic spiritual practices are easy to spot in the Bible but some of the more ‘novel’ ones do require discernment. They need to be carefully evaluated in consultation with your local spiritual leadership that you are accountable to.
What is your motivation and who are you doing this for? Motivation for engaging in spiritual practices is important to figure out as you don’t want to live by performance or manipulation. You need to do this for God, and for Him alone. If your motivation is based on guilt, wanting to prove something, or a desire to please others, this will result in your spiritual practices becoming self-defeating. If your motivation is meeting any requirement for acceptance or belonging (self-righteousness), you will quickly fall into ‘dead works’. These work against what you are trying to achieve. Even doing this for yourself will result in frustration, you will find out that you are incapable of fixing yourself. If you strip away all your external layers of self-definition, the truth will be revealed. You love God because He first loved you. You long for Him because he first reached out to you and you begin to understand that everything originated from God.
Acknowledge the mystery of transformation and you’re powerlessness to change it. What areas in your life right now are most in need for transformation? Acknowledge to God your powerlessness to Him. Speak to God about your desire to show up in a more consistent way so that He can do the work in you.
What is the purpose of each practice? Understand what each practice promises to produce in you. Each one is aimed at either receiving a certain aspect of the Kingdom, or retraining certain ‘parts’ of your soul where the Kingdom has not yet come. It is pointless to practice a spiritual practice, just for the sake of it.
How does it relate to your physical body? Each practice relates in some way to your physical body. Understand that your spirituality is not separate from your physical body, but rather it is the ‘whole’ of you ( body, spirit, mind, emotions, desires, will, appetites and even relationships). Spiritual practices will include some aspect of your body. We need to regain what the Hebraic mindset could do, to hold opposing tensions in balance. The spiritual realm does impact the physical and vice versa.
How they relate to the Kingdom of God and the local church? Spiritual practices are not only for our own personal transformation, but for the growth of the church (corporate transformation). They are both personal and corporate and need to be expressed within the local community. Mostly we practice before God alone, but they are never meant to be private. Personal transformation means that no one does this for you, while corporate transformation means that we are accountable to a local church community and its leadership.
Once you have worked through these questions, you can now begin to develop your own personal Rule of Life (plan) for your spirituality and growth.
Based off your reflections, what have you observed?
Which practice do you believe you need to engage first in a more steady and consistent way to God?
Write out your plan - Take into account the limitations of the season you are in.
Which practice can you engage in on a daily basis? Weekly? monthly?
How can you adjust your schedule so that you can consistently choose this practice?
Do you need to make any arrangements with your spouse or with those you live with?
Is it realistic, balanced and personal enough?
Remember this requires an ongoing commitment from you but not out of duty or obligation. Keep reminding yourself this is a lifelong commitment to being more open through a constant means to God’s transforming work in you.